February 06, 2023

Why Women Lose Their Sense of Self Through Motherhood And How They Can Get It Back.

Motherhood can be a tremendously rewarding experience, but it can also be a time of great change and challenge for women. During this time, it is not uncommon for mothers to struggle with a sense of identity, feeling disconnected from their old selves. In this blog article, we will discuss why women may lose their sense of self through motherhood and ways they can get it back.

 

When women become mothers, their lives tend to revolve around the needs of their children. They are responsible for providing physical, emotional and financial care for their children, and this can lead to a sense of depletion. Women may also feel pressure to maintain their pre-baby lives, such as working or having hobbies, while still managing the demands of caring for their children. This can be an overwhelming and daunting task, and it can be difficult to find the time and energy to nurture the self.

 

Additionally, the responsibilities associated with motherhood can make it difficult for women to prioritize their own needs and wants. This can lead to a sense of disconnection from their old selves, as they become focused solely on their role as a mother. This can also cause women to forget that they are individuals with their own unique interests, hobbies, passions, wants and needs.

 

So, how can women regain their sense of self while still managing the demands of motherhood? One of the most important things is to make time for yourself. This may mean creating a schedule that allows you to have time each day to do something that you enjoy, whether it is reading a book, going for a walk, or even just having a moment of peace and quiet.

 

Another way to reconnect with yourself is to practice self-care. This can be anything from taking a bubble bath or getting a massage to spending time with friends or going on a date night right through to taking time to journal your thoughts, feelings or experiences, reconnecting with your inner desires, discovering what you truly want or what you no longer want, and identifying what needs you have in that moment and how you can take steps towards meeting those needs. Self-care is essential for maintaining your mental and physical health and can help you to remember that you are so much more than just a mother. "Mother" is a verb not a noun. It is something you do not who you are.

 

Finally, it is important to remember that you are not alone. Seek out other mothers who may be in a similar situation and build a support network. This can be a great source of comfort and can help you to maintain a sense of connection and identity. Alternatively, seek out older women who have already walked the path of motherhood and emerged out of the other side. You may find this a great way to connect with the wisdom of the feminine and create friendships and networks with women who have more energy and time to help and support you. Depending on the women you personally know, it isn't always helpful to ask another mama who is neck deep and drowning to help support you, as she is already spread very thin. You may find that by connecting with women who are a little ahead of you in their journey that you are going to benefit from their wisdom as well as their graduation into the next phases of their journey.

 

Here are some common reasons women lose their sense of self through mother-hood:

 

  1. Women often feel overwhelmed and overworked, which can lead to a feeling of losing their sense of self as a woman.
  2. Women lose their sense of self because, as mums, they no longer have energy for themselves, as their main focus and energy is devoted to taking care of their children.
  3. Their priorities, attention, focus and energy are more about getting through the day moment to moment, rather than taking care of themselves.
  4. It is easy to forget to take time for yourself when you are busy taking care of your kids, leading to a feeling of disconnection from your own needs and wants.
  5. The demands of being a mum can be intense, and mums often experience feelings of guilt for taking time for themselves, leading to further feelings of disconnection from their own identity.
  6. Juggling the responsibilities of family life can be taxing, and over time women can experience a sense of loneliness, as their needs and wants often take a backseat to their children’s.
  7. It can be difficult for women to find time for themselves, and to remember their own needs and wants, leading to a sense of losing their sense of self.
  8. Believing that the act of "mothering" is who you are, rather than something you do contributes to your sense of self. It is like, the minute you birth a child you cease being (YOUR NAME)! Mothering is a big part of your life, your role, your responsibilities, but just because you birthed a child, does not mean that you no longer exist as an individual. You were (YOUR NAME) before you became a mother and you her to come with you on this journey of "mama-hood" - she is your foundation, your backbone, your north star. She will support and guide you in becoming the integrated version of yourself as a mother.

 

9 Tips on how women can rediscover their sense of self through mother-hood:

 

  1. Take time to do activities that you enjoy, such as reading a book, going for a walk, or doing yoga
  2. Talk to other mothers in similar situations and share your experiences
  3. Make time to spend with your family and to get to know your children better
  4. Practice positive self-talk and remind yourself of your worth: self-compassion and self-empathy can make all the difference to how you feel and your perspective
  5. Take time out of your day to just be; take deep breaths and allow yourself to relax, slow down and quiet your mind so that you can connect with yourself
  6. Make sure you set boundaries for yourself and others. What are you no longer willing to engage with, what are you no longer willing to give energy to. Be consistent and committed to ensuring that you don't disrespect your own boundaries, as well as others.
  7. Create a self-care routine; this could include doing something creative, making time for yoga or meditating, journaling, engaging with conscious positive inner dialogue or simply taking time
  8. Celebrate your achievements, big or small, and appreciate the moments in between
  9. Say YES only when it feels good and right to say yes, and say NO when you need to. You are the most important person in your life and doing things that are in alignment with your needs in each moment is paramount to your ability to THRIVE as both a woman and a mama!

If you are looking for help or support to uncover, discover & recover your sense of self as a woman through your journey of mama-hood click the link to see our range of self-hypnosis audios  https://thrivingmamahypnotherapy.com/ AND personalised one-to-one Essence Of You Sessions https://thrivingmamahypnotherapy.com/pages/booking

Written by Catherine McMahon