How to achieve balance in your life as a mama

Do you struggling to find balance in your life?

You’re not alone. It is the perpetual roller coaster ride of being a mother that requires you to constantly juggling multiple responsibilities, and it can be difficult to find an equilibrium. But rest assured—balance in motherhood is achievable with some work, commitment and adjusting.

It really requires you to be able to take a step back, become the observer and take stock of what is working, what is not, what you are making a priority and where your priorities could potentially shift . Through this observatory process your main focus its to discern what balance is for you and whether what you are currently doing is supporting a balanced life-style.

There are always going to be good days and bad days. Moments that are calm and peaceful and moments that are chaotic and messy. Achieving balance is a vastly different concept to striving to achieve the illusion of perfection. Perfection as a concept is unattainable and the pursuit for perfection creates much imbalance.

A great starting place is to get really clear on what your definition of balance actually is.

If you define balance as every part of your life having equal time and energy then you are going to find this concept of balance one of the quickest ways to be unfulfilled and disappointed when it comes to achieving balance.

Balance is NOT a destination that we arrive at. Life is fluid. Situations and circumstances are constantly shifting, changing and evolving. And the art of balance is to be able to effectively adapt and respond to the flow of life. It is important to know that as life shifts, changes and evolves so does your experience of balance.

In essence balance is the result of the unobstructed flow of energy that flows through your body, mind, emotions, soul and spirit. It is the expression of your life force energy in both big and small ways throughout your day. It is a dynamic state of being. It is a feeling, a knowing and a sense of oneness, wholeness or unity within yourself, how you experience life and your place in the world. And this is where women often lose their balance through the journey of motherhood - becoming a mama, more often than not, fragments your sense of oneness, wholeness and unity. You explode into a million tiny pieces of your former self, and then you are somehow required to put yourself back together so that you can flow effortlessly down the river of motherhood.

How to bring yourself back into balance one piece at a time.

A really great starting place, as mentioned previously, is to take a step back and become the observer of your own life. Take not of what you are prioritising, what is working, what is not and where you feel out of balance, or where you feel as though your energy is stifled, stuck or depleted.

When you are giving energy to areas of your life that are in alignment with your values and priorities, the things that are most important or beneficial to you in that moment, everything else begins to feel lighter and easier, even if the workload is heavy.

By creating congruence within yourself by honouring, prioritising and actioning your needs and what you value in the moment you are opening the flow of energy to invite ease and flow into your life, which in turn allows you to feel more in balance.

You can begin to identify what is a priority for you by asking yourself a few simple questions:

Getting clear on the urgency, importance and significance of a task is a great way to be able to identify where your time, energy and effort is best invested in both the short term and into the future.

Asking yourself, what need does this meet, does it bring joy or stress and who else could support you are wonderful ways to help support your decisions on how to reprioritise tasks and jobs.

This task will help you to identify your core values. Your core values are beliefs that guide and motivate you to have certain attitudes or to take certain actions.

Creating balance in your life looks different for everyone

We all have a multitude of areas or quadrants of our lives. Your quadrants may be different to mine. And as a result, creating and experiencing balance will be different to how I create and experience balance in my life. The importance you place on each quadrant will be determined by your core values, and everyone's core values are different for different reasons.

Here are a few examples of quadrants you may have in your life that you are wanting to balance:

Take some time to think about these quadrants and add more if you have them. Then prioritise the importance of each quadrant in accordance with your core values/ foundational beliefs. How much time, energy, effort or commitment does each quadrant require? How much do time, energy, effort or commitment do you want/need to give to feel as though you are in alignment with your values and priorities?

Your needs, wants and desires are important too.

You may think that there is something honourable about putting everyone and everything else above your own needs, wants and desires, but there really isn't.

You are the most important person in your life and when you suffer or struggle, then every area of your life is affected.

Prioritising your own needs, wants and desires is not a fluffy act of self-care privilege, it is an act of self-preservation.

Making your own needs, wants and desires a priority is not selfish or negligent of others, as I am not suggesting that you do it ALL the time. The whole focus of this blog article is to support you to find a place of balance with the multi-faceted aspects of your life. It is ok for your children to know that you are important and have needs and that they will benefit from you meeting your needs, as you will have so much more energy to give to them when you have given to yourself first. As all safety conscious aeroplane stewards inform us, we must fix our own oxygen face mask before helping others.

If you find it difficult to make your own needs, wants and desires a priority you could consider the following:

Balance is fluid and flowing

Sometimes you are in balance and sometimes you are out of balance. It is a fluid expression of life. The aim of the game is to constantly adjust, adjust, adjust with what ever is happening in the moment. The more flexible you can be about how balance is maintained, the easier it is to be able to achieve and maintain balance in your day-to-day life.

Asking yourself questions that help you to determine importance and priorities is a must. Make it second nature if you can. Allow yourself to become comfortable with flexibility of how things get done, when the get done and who is able to do them. Remember that although you are a powerful and influential presence in your own life, you are only one person and you can not possibly do it all, all of the time.

A crucial and key ingredient for brining yourself back into balance is to know that life is constantly expanding and contracting. You can't control it, you can only react or respond to it. Reacting takes you away from the flow of balance and responding brings you closer to balance. Do you want to swim up stream or down?

Here are some tips to help you create more balance in your daily life.

First, identify what your priorities and values are.  Take some time to discover what you can reprioritise, delegate or let go of completely.  Not everything is important all of the time and knowing what you can be flexible with is a great way to allowing the flow of balance to come into your life.

Second, take some time for yourself each day. Even if it’s just a few minutes, use this time to relax, reflect, and recharge. You could take a walk, read a book, listen to music, meditate, or do something else that helps you to feel more grounded and centred.

Third, make sure you have a supportive network around you. Whether it’s family, friends, or fellow moms, having people who can listen to your struggles and offer advice can be a big help. Finding a motherhood group or a hobby/interested group to connect with can also be beneficial.

Fourth, learn to let go of perfectionism. No one is perfect, and that includes you. Accept that you won’t be able to do everything perfectly all the time, and understand that it’s okay to make mistakes.

Fifth, develop systems and routines that help you stay organized. Having a plan for the day, week, and month can help you stay on top of your responsibilities and ensure that everything gets done.

Finally, don’t forget to take care of your physical and mental health. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating well, and exercising regularly. And don’t forget to talk to a therapist if you need to.

Finding balance in motherhood isn’t easy, but it is possible. With a bit of self-care and the right support network, you can create more harmony and balance in your daily life.